> Thursday, October 18, 2007
hey...its me again...actually i dun have anything to do...its so bored...and my second sis...she' s sick...which i dunno why...i mean how she end up sick but not me...its disappointing in me and not at her...she could do everything on her own...i mean she doesn't need me right??? she always complaining...i can't stand it...at last the one who is suffering its me but not her...ya i know that she's not a lazy person...and she could say everyone a lazy bump...including me...sob2!! in my heart i'm crying...in my heart feel the hurt...in my heart feel the illness and painful living in this world...that no one will never understand me....they just thought i'm perfect...i have a perfect life to live with...but actually, the other side of me is suffercating...can't breath, can't see the light in the sky...and can't see myself anymore...oh i need someone to help me...i need someone to let me go form this mess in my head...i'm not in the mood for a person that doesn't belong to me....well people, you may think i love being with my sis...well you might think again...i'm indeed suffering towards her but i don't want to know or show...i may feel happy in the outside but i feel sad all the way in the inside...gosh feel like i'm gonna cry...oh GOD...please help me before something bad happen...and i can't live anymore...its irritating...i have no one to turn to...except for myself...and no other person could know this....
its been a year that i'v been suffering like this...i have to listne to watever she's saying...in order to be notice by my own parents...if not, they'll give up on me...and i really have no one to turn to...its really embarress to live like this...i can't show my true feelings towards others....people thinks i'm emotional...but i'm not...i'm a girl who lives in a flat feeling lonely and just type watever she can just to feel nice for herself....well that's all...
its been a year that i'v been suffering like this...i have to listne to watever she's saying...in order to be notice by my own parents...if not, they'll give up on me...and i really have no one to turn to...its really embarress to live like this...i can't show my true feelings towards others....people thinks i'm emotional...but i'm not...i'm a girl who lives in a flat feeling lonely and just type watever she can just to feel nice for herself....well that's all...
written by me.
9:42 AM
9:42 AM
>
The season in which the powdered snow dances always passes by
Even if I’m lost in a crowd I can see the same sky
Even though I'm chilled as if I'm being blown by the wind
I don't know anything(1) about you, do I?
And yet, I found you amongst a billion(2) people
There's no (scientific) basis for this, but I believe this with all seriousness
We can't live at the same time without trivial fights
If I can't be honest, then rapture and sorrow are meaningless
Powdered snow, if you paled me white to the heart
Can you share our loneliness?
I pressed my ear against your heartGoing gently, deeply towards where the sound (is coming from)
(That's where) I want to disembark,
There, we'll meet once again
I want us to reach rapport but I was the (only) one who touched its surface
The only thing that was holding us together was my hand squeezing yours that was numb with cold.
Powdered snow, in front (of us), eternity, too fragilely, becomes a stain upon rough asphalt
Powdered snow, this heart that has transcended time is falteringAnd yet, I want to continue to protect you
Powdered snow, if you paled me white to the heart
You would wrap around our loneliness and send it back into the sky
(1) lit. Everything.
(2) lit. A hundred million. Japanese number splitting are different in that it goes from a thousand (sen) to ten thousand (man) to a hundred million (oku) instead of the thousand, million and billion we're used to. I just made this a billion to parallel what I call a "numberless number" i.e. one of those numbers that doesn't have other number names in it like a hundred, thousand, etc.
Even if I’m lost in a crowd I can see the same sky
Even though I'm chilled as if I'm being blown by the wind
I don't know anything(1) about you, do I?
And yet, I found you amongst a billion(2) people
There's no (scientific) basis for this, but I believe this with all seriousness
We can't live at the same time without trivial fights
If I can't be honest, then rapture and sorrow are meaningless
Powdered snow, if you paled me white to the heart
Can you share our loneliness?
I pressed my ear against your heartGoing gently, deeply towards where the sound (is coming from)
(That's where) I want to disembark,
There, we'll meet once again
I want us to reach rapport but I was the (only) one who touched its surface
The only thing that was holding us together was my hand squeezing yours that was numb with cold.
Powdered snow, in front (of us), eternity, too fragilely, becomes a stain upon rough asphalt
Powdered snow, this heart that has transcended time is falteringAnd yet, I want to continue to protect you
Powdered snow, if you paled me white to the heart
You would wrap around our loneliness and send it back into the sky
(1) lit. Everything.
(2) lit. A hundred million. Japanese number splitting are different in that it goes from a thousand (sen) to ten thousand (man) to a hundred million (oku) instead of the thousand, million and billion we're used to. I just made this a billion to parallel what I call a "numberless number" i.e. one of those numbers that doesn't have other number names in it like a hundred, thousand, etc.
written by me.
4:53 AM
4:53 AM
> Monday, October 15, 2007
hey...people selamat hari raya to all....
well its been a great tuesday morning and i'm watching a show called One litres of Tears...well if you people wanna know the story i could tell you but if dun wan me to tell then you may wanna scrow the story so you won't the story all about okey...well the story is about a girl who has an illness in her, i couldn't spell but i know what the disease could do to her...is cruel disease that it has no cure for her...it can't make her do things like...she can't walk or write or talk properly...and she can't feel or see the distance...its quite sad though...at first she thought she's ok...a healthy living in a normal live but, she doesn't know that she is sick...at first her mother thought that she just a normal girl but she keeps falling things and herself also...her mother kept looking at her that one day she fall and hurt her chin...and she has to go to hospital...well before that her mother told her to go for medical check-up in case that she has any illness...her mother is hygenits...who takes care of people hygien...watever i couldn't spell it properly...so sad...anyway...her parents knows about the illness, but she doen't until one day she went research at the computer...before the doctor could say she ask him that her disease is something that with letter s....those who is taking nursing know what is the word...she happen to dier when she was 25 years i think...and she got a guy that love her so much...well she actually wanted to become a basketball player...well if you wanted to know more about the story you may wanted to see it in crunchyroll.com...its a japanese story...it so famous that even in taiwan and i think korea has the show already....
well for those who do not read the story....the i shall tell you an advice between your parents and you...well give your parents a break coz you might not know they got divorce or you know...so don't get boyfirends on your youth...like me i already overcome everything last year and i changed a bit...not that much but a bit...coz my brother and sis is going to find a job so i have to start being matured...before my younger sis does...she keeps going home late though...since she patched back with her ex boyfriend...even though i hate him i'll still have to except him for sure...well i might not know that he could be my younger brother in law...which it will be in twenty years time...and i have to change her attitude for sure...before she started smoking and do stupid like me before...i started to realise myslef when i broke up with my ex borfriend...he keep breakign my heart and he didn't even not know...i mean what kind of guy is this...isn't that so stupid....ee start to act stupid again....ok watever...anyway i gtg guys...
so do read it and comment it okey...
well its been a great tuesday morning and i'm watching a show called One litres of Tears...well if you people wanna know the story i could tell you but if dun wan me to tell then you may wanna scrow the story so you won't the story all about okey...well the story is about a girl who has an illness in her, i couldn't spell but i know what the disease could do to her...is cruel disease that it has no cure for her...it can't make her do things like...she can't walk or write or talk properly...and she can't feel or see the distance...its quite sad though...at first she thought she's ok...a healthy living in a normal live but, she doesn't know that she is sick...at first her mother thought that she just a normal girl but she keeps falling things and herself also...her mother kept looking at her that one day she fall and hurt her chin...and she has to go to hospital...well before that her mother told her to go for medical check-up in case that she has any illness...her mother is hygenits...who takes care of people hygien...watever i couldn't spell it properly...so sad...anyway...her parents knows about the illness, but she doen't until one day she went research at the computer...before the doctor could say she ask him that her disease is something that with letter s....those who is taking nursing know what is the word...she happen to dier when she was 25 years i think...and she got a guy that love her so much...well she actually wanted to become a basketball player...well if you wanted to know more about the story you may wanted to see it in crunchyroll.com...its a japanese story...it so famous that even in taiwan and i think korea has the show already....
well for those who do not read the story....the i shall tell you an advice between your parents and you...well give your parents a break coz you might not know they got divorce or you know...so don't get boyfirends on your youth...like me i already overcome everything last year and i changed a bit...not that much but a bit...coz my brother and sis is going to find a job so i have to start being matured...before my younger sis does...she keeps going home late though...since she patched back with her ex boyfriend...even though i hate him i'll still have to except him for sure...well i might not know that he could be my younger brother in law...which it will be in twenty years time...and i have to change her attitude for sure...before she started smoking and do stupid like me before...i started to realise myslef when i broke up with my ex borfriend...he keep breakign my heart and he didn't even not know...i mean what kind of guy is this...isn't that so stupid....ee start to act stupid again....ok watever...anyway i gtg guys...
so do read it and comment it okey...
written by me.
7:00 PM
7:00 PM
> Friday, October 12, 2007
hey people....its hari raya and i think its not gonna be the best.....i mean i have no excitement....and its boring except for u noe...forgiving people....i mean when you forgive make sure its for real....u dun forgive and then do it again....i mean u make the same mistakes....kan boring kan kalao buat lagi....dah tuh kene ckp sorie lagi on next year nye raya....btw gue nye rumah dh siap...tgl lagi satu....lipat baju which dat my bro is doing it....and i'm wathcing cerite madu tiga sambil main com....cerite nie kan kekek sikit....laki nie khawin tiga....laki nie betol2 giler....kalao real life ader mcm gini....ako rase kan ako dah sepak2 muker laki tuh....
anyway i gtg....see ya soon...!!!
anyway i gtg....see ya soon...!!!
written by me.
11:21 AM
11:21 AM
> Tuesday, October 09, 2007
hey its me...
i didn't know dat staying at home is damn bored....i can't even go out with anyone....my sis is still sleeping and me...playing the com twice....can you imagine that...is my imagine the correct spelling???? anyway i'm bored nothing to do sitting here like an old shack.....i don't even know what to say.....hey...just know ako tgk cerite material girls....i mean they are awsome....with their attitude...and their style....well i would like to be like them one day....
i don't know what to do without my sis....i mean when she got married...everything is such a disaster....even my own mom....wow....i couldn't forget the day when she got married....fell like killing them....well i can't tell them who....its a secret....shhh!!!!....
anyway this year something bad happen something i don't ask for...its my friend....well one of my friend....she changed....after going to a new class...she changed...that got shock me out....she started to hang out with these people and when does she has a malay boyfriend???? at first she told me or she told everyone that she doesn't want to have a boyfriend....but in the end she got one....and the way she sit is not like the old her...she started to wear something short and small....i mean she started to wear short skirt...and when she started to be emo???? argh!!!! i'm damn angry...never felt this angry but its true...anyway i can't be angry on fasting month...nanti batal....btw lagi berape days ajer nak hari raya....oh....asl ehk hari nie...mcm rase tk sedap gitu....mcm nanti ader bende belaku....u noe something....i guess that i dun go for any guys yet but...i'm sure i won't be having any bf's also....or anything yet....i'm positive....with the positive on my forehead....yeah....i;m bored and sleepy....but i can't sleep....my mum won't let me sleep at 4 in the afternoon....plus my younger sis hasn't reach home yet....and she's home....my mind is good....haha....any way got to you know...go...
i guess i should stop here before i start my stupid conversation....again...
i didn't know dat staying at home is damn bored....i can't even go out with anyone....my sis is still sleeping and me...playing the com twice....can you imagine that...is my imagine the correct spelling???? anyway i'm bored nothing to do sitting here like an old shack.....i don't even know what to say.....hey...just know ako tgk cerite material girls....i mean they are awsome....with their attitude...and their style....well i would like to be like them one day....
i don't know what to do without my sis....i mean when she got married...everything is such a disaster....even my own mom....wow....i couldn't forget the day when she got married....fell like killing them....well i can't tell them who....its a secret....shhh!!!!....
anyway this year something bad happen something i don't ask for...its my friend....well one of my friend....she changed....after going to a new class...she changed...that got shock me out....she started to hang out with these people and when does she has a malay boyfriend???? at first she told me or she told everyone that she doesn't want to have a boyfriend....but in the end she got one....and the way she sit is not like the old her...she started to wear something short and small....i mean she started to wear short skirt...and when she started to be emo???? argh!!!! i'm damn angry...never felt this angry but its true...anyway i can't be angry on fasting month...nanti batal....btw lagi berape days ajer nak hari raya....oh....asl ehk hari nie...mcm rase tk sedap gitu....mcm nanti ader bende belaku....u noe something....i guess that i dun go for any guys yet but...i'm sure i won't be having any bf's also....or anything yet....i'm positive....with the positive on my forehead....yeah....i;m bored and sleepy....but i can't sleep....my mum won't let me sleep at 4 in the afternoon....plus my younger sis hasn't reach home yet....and she's home....my mind is good....haha....any way got to you know...go...
i guess i should stop here before i start my stupid conversation....again...
written by me.
1:13 AM
1:13 AM
> Saturday, October 06, 2007
yes ar...lagi berape hari jer nak hari raya...best ar...nyari pulak kene buat lagi 4 kueh raya...and dat is kueh makmur....kueh tart....cookies....cheese crackers ngn bantal peluk saloma....smlm bikin keuh suji ngn cherry...and chocolate cornflakes...sedap giler....dis year pakai baju raya colour white....lawa punye hehe....ok lar gtg....
see ya...!!!!
see ya...!!!!
written by me.
4:04 AM
4:04 AM
